As already reported on Takimag, there are plenty of lunatic theories out there at the moment about what really started all those California wildfires currently raging. Jewish space lasers? A sinister attempt to destroy and cover up evidence of the crimes of P. Diddy, or the true origin of all those ...
The first question I want answered when Donald Trump takes office next week is: “What’s with all those mystery drones flying over USAF bases in America and England lately?” Given Trump’s admirable willingness to talk matters ufological with podcast bro-hosts like Joe Rogan in the ...
Looking at the unreadable trash that usually makes up the Christmas bestseller lists every year, my general thought is, “I wouldn’t want to have received any of those books as a present.” This sentiment in mind, I wondered what text might end up being this year’s most dumpstered offering. ...
You know the tiny little sparkly-winged angel you have sitting anally impaled on the top of your Christmas tree? She’s dressed all in white, isn’t she? So have you ever considered the sheer embarrassment if she happens to suffer her period sometime during Holy Week? One German university has. ...
Takimag recently reported on a Bronx-based so-called “Racial Justice Center” that released a handy guide for how to racially ruin Christmas by going around asking intentionally stupid questions like “Why Is Santa Claus Always White?” Naturally, the center in question did not provide the ...
If you saw a large group of men running toward you, dressed in tight Lycra bearing the words “QUEER RUNNING CLUB,” what would you do? Personally, I’d start running too—right in the opposite direction. And, if I happened to be Jewish, I might try running all the faster. For obvious reasons, ...
“Euthan-Asia?” asks the traditional cartoon comedy moron. “Where’s that?” Today the honest answer could be given “It’s in Great Britain.” The nation’s parliamentarians have just voted to pass a bill legalizing end-of-life “medically assisted dying,” as the euphemism ...
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Such were the age-old policy recommendations of the Three Wise Monkeys, since adopted by the total chimps who now rule over us. I have just viewed an exchange on a U.K. current affairs show involving a former Labour Party adviser named Mike Buckley, who ...
Children can sometimes be very cruel—but also very inventive. When I was a schoolboy myself during the 1990s, there was a performatively “suicidal” girl who constantly used to make millimeter-deep scratches in her wrist with a compass, thereby supposedly aiming to bleed to death very, very ...
In ancient Greece, women weren’t allowed to vote. This wasn’t mere bigoted, reasonless, irrational male sexism: It was based on actual biology. Participation in the public polis of Athens was forbidden for females, as they were said to suffer from a severe chronic condition called hysteria, ...
